200350
Joke of the Day
"What kind of phone makes music? A saxophone."
Next Joke
"My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat."
"I'm so poor that for Christmas my mom cut a hole in my pants so I would have something to play with."
"Before you go to sleep tonight, don't forget to sprinkle gluten around your bed to keep away the hipsters."
"Best advice I can give to newlyweds is to buy a really comfortable couch."
"I'm really not a fast driver I just don't like having anyone in front of me... Officer"
"Honey Nut Cheerios I've said it before I'll say it again If Honey Nut Cheerios wanted more Jewish customers, they should change the Nut to Milk and call them Canaanios."
"Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again. Person 2: Yes but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it."
"[Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1...2... Sir, what are you 3...4...I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*"
"If FiveGuys had been founded by black people It should have been called ThreeGuys."