200230

Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Santa Claus is both an arborist and a geologist? He's gonna find out what's knotty or gneiss."

"Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed space."

"What comes after a great pee? A ""Q"" I made this joke up today. I don't know if it's been thought of before, but I couldn't go to sleep without posting it for the world :)"

"I caught up with my old English teacher. ""What's new?"" he asked. I said, ""An adjective."""

"What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles? The sphinxster ...."

"You have to be careful when telling rape jokes... You never know who got buthurt"

"What did the French stoner say? 80 blaze it"

"Wearing sunglasses while indoors let's everyone know you have no business making even minor life decisions."

"""How'd the date go?"" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist."

"Best of luck to Steven Gerrard, who's retired from not winning the World Cup to concentrate on not winning the Premier League."