200078

Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. ""Excuse me"" he said to the cat in charge ""Can you get milk stains out?"" ""Sure"" replied the cat. ""We'll have that stain licked in a minute!"""

"Son, when you were born I promised you that I would make sure that you would be a household name. So you see, that's why I named you Kleenex."

"""Dad, why isn't there chocolate meatloaf?"" - my brilliant 3 year old son Patrick"

"""anything new with you?"" not really ""any cool projects at work? nope ""meeting with friends?"" no ""seeing anybody?"" why are you doing this?"

"I always bring a condom with me on a night out. Unfortunately, it's always the same one."

"What do you get when you put 20 Meth Heads in 1 room? A full set of teeth"

"Q: What time is bedtime at Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand."

"How do you keep black people out of your business? Put up a ""Now Hiring"" sign."

"Hotel coffee is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water."

"i dont think anyone quotes mlk more than white people who were just accused of racism themselves"