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Joke of the Day

"""anything new with you?"" not really ""any cool projects at work? nope ""meeting with friends?"" no ""seeing anybody?"" why are you doing this?"

Next Joke
 
"I need a new waffle iron. These waffles are still wrinkled."
"What does the Chicago Cubs's name stand for? Completely Useless By September"
"Today i was woken up with a blowjob.. i will never fall asleep with my mouth open anymore."
"Employee requested for a leave and got FIRED!! ""Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."" ~ James"
"What's it called when Obama and Paul Ryan meet up for dinner? A government mandate."
"Beer makes you smart. It made Bud wiser."
"What's a mathematicians favourite plant? Any that has a square root!"
"Since Fall Out Boy broke up I want to start a female group called Fall Down Girl. There's no singing, we just get wasted and fall down a lot"
"A spider the size of a golf ball is in my kitchen so I guess this is my last tweet."