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Joke of the Day

"I always bring a condom with me on a night out. Unfortunately, it's always the same one."

"There are some people walking around alive today, simply because I don't want to go to jail tomorrow."

"I'm on the bus now. Either the woman sitting right next to me has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokemons."

"""Is your refrigerator running?"" ""Hasn't decided yet,"" I say, winking at my refrigerator & hanging up. A ""FRIDGE 2016"" banner hangs above him"

"Diarrhea is just confirming the fact that you make poor life decisions."

"Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it."

"Why did nobody want to be around Hitler? Because he was very gassy."

"A console gamer walks into a bar... ...only to buy a free drink for 60$ To anyone wondering this joke is not made by me but i just had to share it. Credit goes to /u/Unbiased_Bob"

"I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer."

"Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00? His hands were tied."