41110

Joke of the Day

"Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas Eminessence and Marshal Lathers."

"My girlfriend is like an 07 Nappa Valley Pinot Noir Full-bodied and matured, pairs well with meat, and has a smooth, aromatic aftertaste"

"Sometimes I just get the urge to belt out The Lion Sleeps Tonight. After all, it's only a whim away."

"What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: We should call it a Philboard. Bill: I have a better idea..."

"I never shower. No hobo."

"Do you have FB? No Do you have Twitter? No Instagram? No What do you have? A life. ... ... Can I have it? No. I need it to play Candy Crush."

"Dick Cheney was found having sex with Sarah Palin in a speedboat. It wasn't the first time he was caught offshore drilling."

"If farting was a mechanism to flag my territory, I would rule the world."

"I bought a timeshare on a racehorse. It's a nightmare."

"My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule. Doesn't exist by definition."