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Joke of the Day

"Smart White Boy OPTIONAL (text)"

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"I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amana ! Amana who ? Amana bad mood !"
"I went to buy a bag of air... They accidentally put potato chips in it."
"Wife just gave birth to our second child and told me I need to appreciate her more I promised to worship the ground she stomps on"
"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?"
"My father was a nun. Whenever he was up in court and the judge asked ""occupation"", he'd say ""none"". (From Blackadder Goes Forth, is this still eligible for /r/jokes?)"
"The human body is 98% water. So I'm not fat, Just well hydrated."
"""do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?"" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it"
"Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays."