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Joke of the Day

"I'm Mexican and Filipino. No matter how you look at me, I'm good at cleaning."

"""Daddy, I want to watch Dora."" Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets"

"""Honey, am I fat?"" ""No, not at all"" ""You're lying"" ""I swear. By the way, you got something on your chin... no, the other one"""

"Why did the Pussy Wagon fail the emissions test? It had a broken Catalytic converter."

"*Gets disqualified for biting opponent's ear on a chess tournament*"

"Why is that Mac owners always say their computers never get viruses... ...when it is clear that being a pretentious douche is a clear example of a virus that is exclusive to Mac ownership?"

"What are Mario's overalls made out of DENIM DENIM DENIM"

"A Leaf and an Emo Person Both Fall From a Tree. What lands first? The leaf, a rope stopped the emo."

"My girlfriend stopped being my toaster strudel today... Now that she's on birth control, she became my twinkie!"

"Some women have names that simply demand respect. The few. The proud. The Maureens."