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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, I want to watch Dora."" Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets"

"A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs. I think he might be a Thyme traveller."

"My car was like ""change my oil"" & I was like ""change it yourself, stupid"" & it was like ""I can't, I'm an inanimate object"" & then we laughed"

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a KIA? Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a KIA."

"without nipples....... boobs would be pointless"

"What do you call the spirits of honey bees? Boo-bees"

"All Aboard! by Abel Seamann"

"So a Muslim man walks into an elementary school... To pick up his wives"

"Who do you call when a sleepwalker injures himself? The somnambulance."

"I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard."