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Joke of the Day
"What are Mario's overalls made out of DENIM DENIM DENIM"
Next Joke
"Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge! Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!"
"No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president."
"Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors? Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!"
"My friend got a dog for his wife. I told him it was a fair trade."
"Realized it was time to seek help for my Twitter addiction after I opened a carton of eggs and said ""Oh look, 12 new followers!"""
"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."
"*montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's... right here?"
"I once killed an enemy soldier by cutting off his feet. I defeated him."
"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being in the Special Olympics"