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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Leafs and a Pornstar? They both get fucked. They both get paid. But only one of them really enjoys it."

"Hey, did you hear about that Coldplay concert in China? It was all yellow."

"What do you call a butler with a new set of teeth? An endentured servant"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bark ! Bark who ? Bark you car on the drive !"

"I amputated my own fingers to get a date with a cute surgeon She finally took my digits this time!"

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."

"What kind of government does Disney World have? A plutocracy"

"I hope that Senator Franken runs for President in 2020 and picks Jill Stein as his running mate That'd be a real Franken/Stein ticket"

"Prostate Cancer **;** Edit: *But seriously, cancer isn't funny.*"

"Lif... ...is too short."