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Joke of the Day

"A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing. 'He's like a fish out of water.' You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' No, I mean he's dead.'"

"After my ex and I broke up, I was in a really bad place (Florida)"

"Moth balls Q: What do you have if you have a mothball in one hand, and a mothball in the other hand? A: A really big moth!"

"My favourite German jokes 1."

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all."

"I wonder what those old comedians who made livings cracking wise about airline food are doing now that there's no such thing."

"Why did the scientist take off his doorbell? ...because he wanted to win the ""Nobel"" prize!"

"what if soy milk is just regular milk.... introducing itself in spanish"

"My exes dying words were, ""you're obviously in one of your moods"""