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Joke of the Day

"How does King Arthur take his pills? An African or European swallow"

"I only get laid because of who I am... A rapist! -Rodney Dangerfield, RIP"

"If you put a picture of yourself in a locket, you could say you are... Independant"

"Why is my girlfriend like a deep fat fryer? They're both dangerously hot and belong in the kitchen."

"I would love to know what it's like to be handsome for one day... ... because everyday is just too much."

"Why should you never use r/television 's fridge to store mutton? It always spoils the GoT."

"One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now."

"Psychic porn stars always see it coming."

"I'm so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones."

"Q: What kind of fish has two knees? A: A tunee fish."