199548

Joke of the Day

"Its not my fault I have a double-chin... When God was giving out chins.. I thought he said Gin so I said I'll have a double."

"My neighbor named his dog ""Rolex""... He's a watch dog."

"Before being born, I wish I would have been able to select the difficulty level of my life."

"Two guys walk into a bar... You figure the second one would have ducked"

"Job interview tip: Bring a box to the interview, point at it and say ""I do all my thinking outside of that."" Then open some champagne."

"Did you know; one hamburger only contains 4% of our daily need of vitamine -B This means we need to eat way more hamburgers!"

"I hate when people say, ""He's a nice guy once you get to know him."".....So in other words, ""He's an asshole but you'll get used to it""?"

"Many racist Trump supporters were stung by Clinton's speech calling them a ""basket of deplorables."" The rest had to go look up ""deplorable."""

"Marriage is like Disneyland. Magical at first but then you realize that there's someone else in the Mickey suit."

"I am a master of tearable puns But only on paper"