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Joke of the Day
"What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?!? Pecan, typically."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a woman and a terrorist? With a terrorist you can negotiate"
"Honey, your skirt is so short that your STD is showing."
"gas is getting cheaper back in my day it cost two towers"
"What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around stalking you after you toss a load in it."
"WIFE: [crying] guess what my sister just told me ME: she's a liar WIFE: are you saying her dog didn't die? ME: [wiping sweat] I love you"
"I can finally scratch ""murdering an anonymous vagrant"" off my bucket list. I didn't do it, it just doesn't seem all that appealing anymore I guess."
"A report found 9 out of 10 bishops write with a fountain pen. Only God knows what the other one does with it."
"[escorted out of google hq with armful of snakes at 9:02am on my 1st day] WELL MAYBE U SHOULDA CLARIFIED WAT U MEANT BY ""PYTHON PROGRAMMER"""
"What did God say when he saw the first black person? Ooops, I burnt one!"