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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: [crying] guess what my sister just told me ME: she's a liar WIFE: are you saying her dog didn't die? ME: [wiping sweat] I love you"

"How does a computer nerd become to the most popular person in Australia. He automates it."

"Every now and then I like to do a complete check of my financial situation. Yep, still nothing'."

"I remember when ""Something's eating up data."" meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled."

"Why do people wash their clothes in Tide? Because it's too cold out tide."

"I'm starting to feel bullied by all the anti-bullying commercials."

"Spiders always act like they know some big secret but they don't know shit."

"I don't mind holding my wife's purse. It's the only time I get to be close to my balls."

"What's a classic Russian sci-fi film? Czar Wars"

"Raise your hand if you ever ran out of toilet paper and had to use a coffee filter. So, just me.."