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Joke of the Day

"There's three cop cars in the parking lot of my gym. This might be my last Tweet for a little while."

"Knock Knock? Who's there? Eat map. Eat map who? NO THANKS!"

"What ever happened to Hitler's family? He Adolf Them..."

"Hey baby, I'm like Fred Flintstone I can really make your bed-rock. Also I live in a cave and don't have any electricity"

"Those who say ""two wrongs don't make a right"" have obviously never tried ranch dressing on french fries."

"Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car."

"What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary."

"Step 1: Pick a movie title Step 2: Add ""in my pants"". Some friends and i have had hours of fun with this."

"when the character's name is the same as the actor's name I assume it's because the actor was too stupid to respond to his character's name"

"What joke has sebadoh for a punch line? A joke about what kind of dough does an italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery."