199430

Joke of the Day

"The jerk store called. Turns out they were just worried about me; hadn't seen me in a while. It was nice."

"took a girl to starbucks because i forgot her name"

"Person: Raise your glasses! Me: Hahaha! *raises bottle*"

"Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people? Dad."

"The Dirtiest Dad Joke Every time my dad drives by a Little Caesars Pizza he says ""5 dollars hot and ready....I used to know a girl like that"" he says it EVERY TIME and thinks he's hillarious"

"[waking up as an adult] What a beautiful day. I wonder what parts of my body will hurt today"

"Why did the square breakup with the circle? She wasn't edgy enough!"

"Did you know there are only two Lawyer jokes? The rest are all true."

"Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees? Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!"

"Why do they make condoms with ribs? So you can get traction in the mud."