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Joke of the Day

"Why did the square breakup with the circle? She wasn't edgy enough!"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter he's not coming anyways."

"When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math... ...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world."

"Conservatives keep telling me to find Jesus How am I supposed to find him if they want him sent back to mexico and want a wall to keep him out?"

"I went on to AA.com looking for help with my drinking problem, but somehow walked away with plane tickets to Oktoberfest."

"if you're stuck in a group text, an easy way out is to throw your phone in the street and start a new life"

"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"

"So 2 guys walk into a bar. ........that's pretty much it i'm still 17"

"It must have been so risky for pirates to slightly burn the edges of all their treasure maps and then dip them in tea."

"*entire building at my work loses power* *I run all the way to Linda's office* Remember when you said light up shoes were a dumb idea?"