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Joke of the Day

"Why do they make condoms with ribs? So you can get traction in the mud."

"I'm not saying she's worse than my mom... But my wife doesn't seem to like any of my girlfriends."

"As a child I wanted to be a personal trainer but I ended up as a politician. At least I still convince absolute idiots that change is being made."

"What's the policy at French morgues? Baguette and tag it."

"That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt."

"Ever notice it's only ""stalking"" if the person doing the stalking is unattractive."

"Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby."

"If your wife says ""what would you do without me?"" ""Live happily ever after"" is NOT the correct answer. Brrrr it's cold in this doghouse :("

"Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying ""Bach, bach, bach"""

"So you're the bitch that told that bitch that I'm a bitch. Well listen bitch, it takes a bitch to know a bitch. So who's the bitch now, bitch?"