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Joke of the Day

"When I'm too lazy to understand something, I simply label it as ""pretentious"" and move on. I am an American."

"When I get on facebook I get excited when I see the red numbers over the globe thing until I open it and find it is for a stupid game request."

"Why are you on /r/Jokes? What arrr ya buncha pirates or sumthin? *tssssssss*"

"How is snow white? -Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs"

"I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes. It amazed me how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"[hospital] ""I'm afraid it's bad news. Your husband will never walk again"" ""Oh God, he's paralysed?"" ""No, someone's bought him rollerblades"""

"When does a Cub become a Boy-Scout? When he eats his first Brownie"

"Why are a good majority of Americans obese? At least the food won't take away their rights. Do a little oppression of their own."

"I lost my mood ring this morning... I don't even know how i feel about this."

"How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are? They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you."