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Joke of the Day

"Why are a good majority of Americans obese? At least the food won't take away their rights. Do a little oppression of their own."

"If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I'm going to tell you to google it and act like you're the stupid one."

"i pinched out a bowel movement while reaching for a stool."

"Apparently they've come out with low-fat communion wafers Yeah. They called it *I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus*."

"Finally figured out why even smart people fall for click bait..."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey.. 19 years old & full of coke.."

"Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own."

"Nigel Farage walks into a bar Convinces the patrons to set it on fire, and then leaves."

"When my Great Grandmother was a kid she asked her dad for a ring with a cat on it. Her father replied with stick your finger up the cats ass."

"Why are vegetarians good in giving head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"