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Joke of the Day
"I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them."
Next Joke
"Behind every engineer in jail.... Is an Architect."
"My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog."
"[walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no"
"How do you make a duck sing? Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers"
"Her: I told you! Two beers and you're home at 10! Him: Oh, it was this way around."
"whats the secret service of Australia called? M8"
"Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden? Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice?"
"What's the most common pickup line at a gay bar? May I please push in your stool?"
"Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid."