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Joke of the Day

"[walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no"

"Have you heard about the homeless assassin? Well... I don't know anything for sure. But I heard he's a roofless killer!"

"Tower: What's your heigth and position? Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left."

"I planned on watching the super bowl tomorrow, but... My inflatable couch doesn't have enough air in it."

"What was Hitler's favorite animal? *Nnnnnnnnnnnnnneeiiiinnnnnnnnn*"

"An incendiary note i left resulted in suicide by arson"

"The True Power of the Spacebar Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man afire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call an octopus that loves jokes? A knock-knocktopus."

"Wings are the leading cause of bird flew"

"So apparently Adrian Peterson is trying out for Major League Baseball teams... A lot of teams like that he is a switch hitter..."