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Joke of the Day
"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were playing chess... The comedy practically writes itself."
Next Joke
"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."
"Y'know, the KKK actually do have some good points on their hats"
"It's not so much that I love karate as it is that I hate boards."
"I gotta imagine one of the worst things you can do is shit your snowsuit."
"A fish swims into a wall Dam"
"Why are black people like sperm? Only one in a million actually works."
"What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well it's back to the old grind!"
"My dog, Mitten, ate two shuttlecocks this morning. ""*Bad* Mitten!"""
"Reasons I work out. 1) I don't wanna be bit by a vampire and spend eternity out of shape and double chinned. 2) I guess to be healthy"