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Joke of the Day

"What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well it's back to the old grind!"

"2 first names I don't trust people with 2 first names: Paul Ryan, Larry David, Martin Lawrence, Saddam Hussein http://www.twitter.com/HireMeImFunny"

"Where does Q come before P? In front of a busy urinal."

"How do you conufuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"What's the difference between a chef and a gay guy? A chef doesn't stir yesterday's food."

"I like the way you weigh the way I like you."

"To get to the other side Why did the time traveler cross the road?"

"A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says: - You are right. And besides this it has no bottom."

"I may be a bit rusty, but if the world ever needs me to climb into a triangle and shoot asteroids, I'm ready."

"Your Momma is so fat... ... when she wears a Malcolm X jacket helicopters try to land on her back."