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Joke of the Day

"Reasons I work out. 1) I don't wanna be bit by a vampire and spend eternity out of shape and double chinned. 2) I guess to be healthy"

"the best insult ever is ""who is this clown"" because 1. you're calling them a clown 2. you're saying they're not even a well known clown"

"I don't consider it a good night out if it doesn't end up as a super villain's origin story"

"Reddit's biggest April Fool's Day Joke Yet http://i.imgur.com/aT7QoyW.png"

"Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, ""No ifs, ands, or buts!"""

"How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows, the findings never replicate."

"Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!"

"Do you know why they put cotton balls in the top of prescription bottles? To remind black people that they picked cotton before they sold drugs."

"So I'm banging this chick and she looks back and me and says, ""DADDY I'm CUMMINGGG"".... So I say ""Hi Cumming, I'm Dad""."

"What is the meanest thing you could do to a blind person ? Leave the plunger on the toilet."