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Joke of the Day

"No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive I won't have a clue how to get back here"

"Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks = girl ant. If it floats = buoyant."

"lying on the floor with my mouth open just in case someone breaks in and decides to grate a bunch of cheese in there"

"What do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"My 17 yr old grandpa joined the navy during WWII b/c ""he figured if the boat got shot he'd drown, &not have to worry about any other stuff."""

"Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river. Turns out his boat was full of leeks."

"What do Waitresses and Chemists have in common? They both need to check the table periodically..."

"I hear Christian girls give really good moral."

"A woman was masturbating furiously on the subway The police were going to arrest her, but she got off."