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Joke of the Day
"What do Waitresses and Chemists have in common? They both need to check the table periodically..."
Next Joke
"What do you call an amphibian in disguise? Infrognito."
"If I ever run into my doppelganger I'm going to steal his liver."
"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and he says it's so when I'm eating prairie grasses I can see predators"
"If I was a cannibal I'd only eat women. Because they're seedless."
"Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth."
"So I bought this cheap brand of toilet paper... They called it velvet soft. It should have been called James Bond 007. Because every time after I use it, I lift my hand up and I've got a GoldFinger."
"I decided not to invest in that seafood processing plant... ...something smelled fishy."
"Who burns their own city down? The people of Ferguson."
"[last day at job] ""You've made my life a misery, I hate you all"" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] ""Not you tho Phil"""