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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Italian that died? He pasta way"

"My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup."

"I got gas today for $1.09! Too bad it was from Taco Bell."

"STAGES OF DRUNK: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don't wake up the cows."

"My Lebanese friend knocked over his dip. I had to report him for hummus-side. Edit: changed arrest to report because reasons."

"What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust? Easy Bake Ovens"

"If I were a girl who knew a lot about cars, I'd open up a body shop called Lady Parts."

"What do you call the ghost of a detective? An inspectre."

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off."

"Two office workers are chatting by the water cooler ""I has a nice quiet dinner with the wife last night"" one says. ""Oh yeah?"" The other responds. ""Yeah, except for the celery."""