199037

Joke of the Day

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said ""You're pulling my leg"""

"People hate when I make my elevator joke But it works on so many levels"

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"Indian Brothers & Sisters: You know all those awful things Columbus did to the Native Americans? Just remember...HE WAS LOOKING FOR US"

"Why do North Korean officials are always seen holding a notebook and a pen when they're near Kim Jong Un? They're writing their last will and testament."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the ref was blowing fowls."

"Her: u have a choice its me or the megaphone Me: fine Her: good Me: [puts megaphone directly to her ear] I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE"

"GUY WITH TONS OF BLACKLIGHTS AROUND HIS APARTMENT: Hey come on in! GUY WHO LIKES TO RUB CAT URINE ALL OVER HIMSELF: Ummm. Nah I'm good."

"What do you get when you have a nosey pepper? It gets jalapeno business."

"I bet all three Pigs had a great education, but the Pig that lived in the straw house probably had a ponytail and a neck tattoo."