198901

Joke of the Day

"That moment when you're driving and tweeting and you look up and notice you're in the Atlantic Ocean."

"The last four letters of the word ""queue"" are just there because they saw a queue forming and hoped it was for something good."

"OMG!! Lady Diana was on the radio yesterday!! Well, technically she was also on the steering wheel, the cupholder, a small splatter of her on the dashboard.."

"Whats the difference... Between a hormone and and enzyme? You cant hear an enzyme."

"So I just started my own indoor ship production company. Production was great, until sales started going through the roof."

"What's the difference between five dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI."

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"

"Cutest joke ever What does a red grape tell a purple grape? Breathe, you idiot! Breathe!!"

"I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty."