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Joke of the Day

"The last four letters of the word ""queue"" are just there because they saw a queue forming and hoped it was for something good."

"I tried to use ""MyDick"" as my Netflix password... ...Netflix told me ""not long enough."""

"my favorite part about fruit is when I run it under water for 3 seconds to convince myself it's no longer covered in carcinogenic pesticides"

"Where does bad light end up? in prism"

"My dog had a tick once, Someone recommended i try the ""lighter fluid and match"" trick, it definitely worked as my dog never got a tick again. But man, I sure do miss my dog."

"Thinking that you're on speaking terms with God is like finding out you've been playing both parts in an episode of ""Catfish"""

"Girl, are you a homeless horse? Because you look unstable."

"If the universe was a person, s/ he would have a pretty flashy personality. Because s/ he starts everything with a big bang"

"Why did the porn-star get hit by a bus? She never saw it coming!!!"

"After Samsung phones, now Samsung washing machines are exploding. Samsung is now the third biggest nuclear power after US and Russia."