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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"

"Wife: Why is there a bouncy castle in the garden? Me out of breath with no shoes on: I'm not sure."

"What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? About three inches."

"My girlfriend asked me if I was a pedophile. I told her: ""That's a big word for a six year old!"""

"Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys? A LockSith."

"In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people."

"Do pigs like Backgammon? No they prefer their backs scratched."

"A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? Father: No, some begin with - If elected I promise.."

"France vs Germany was a close game... it ended in a shootout."

"You know those giant sunflowers? The really tall ones? With the big, brown center? I killed my grandparents. And the yellow petals?"