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Joke of the Day

"OMG!! Lady Diana was on the radio yesterday!! Well, technically she was also on the steering wheel, the cupholder, a small splatter of her on the dashboard.."

"Liars tend not make eye contact, which is why I don't trust pirates half the time."

"I let Jesus be my co-pilot once. Terrible decision, really. I was all, ""Drive, Jesus! Drive!"" And he was like, ""No hablo ingles, senor!"""

"What do you get when a clown dies in a desert? Dry Humour."

"What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up"

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to the referees to ""knock"" the balls used for the Super Bowl to check for proper inflation... but then they realized that was queer."

"I'd rather have Samuel L Jackson narrate my life.. No offense, Morgan Freeman.. My life requires multiple uses of the word m 0therfcuker."

"My dentist kept telling me i have too much acid in my diet. So I told him he has too much fire on his head."

"The trouble with quotes on the internet. ""The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."" - Abraham Lincoln."

"What do Badgers and Gynecologists have in common? they both like to root around in your cellar"