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Joke of the Day

"Why did the two men from Moscow get escorted out from the concert? Because they wouldn't stop Russian the stage..."

"You can tell a lot about a person by what they swallow first when a cop pulls um over."

"What do a gang member and a redneck have in common? They both know how to throw a good hoe down."

"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables and the bartender says, You can come in, but don't start anything!"

"I was thinking about moving to Moscow But there's no point in Russian to things."

"[first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone"

"I wish my lawn were a depressed emo so it would just cut itself."

"I wish I was a helicase enzyme... ...because then I could unzip your genes"

"What do you call an ant sized villain? The *ant*agonist."

"""Daddy , how do stars die ?"" ""Drugs , usually"""