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Joke of the Day
"What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man? He will B flat"
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"""Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?"" why would- ""It's because they're sold by weight-"" Dan, NO ""not by volume"""
"Beethoven walks into a bar... The bartender tells him, ""we don't serve any E-minors here."" Beethoven says ""what?"""
"Much like #Skynet, the dirty dishes in my sink have achieved self awareness."
"""Will you please stop chasing heavy women?"" ""I am not chasing them...they just happen to land on me and I cant get up."""
"Things have really turned around for me since I re-named my penis and testicles ""JD Power and Associates""."
"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."
"My wife said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationship work. She was less than impressed with the dead goat I left in our kitchen."
"Take a look at trending topics and you'll realize why they have to write ""do not eat"" on dry silica packets."
"What do the Catholic Church and a bucket of shit have in common? Neither supports gay marriage."