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Joke of the Day

"""Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?"" why would- ""It's because they're sold by weight-"" Dan, NO ""not by volume"""

"What do you call a cow with 2 legs. YOUR MOM!"

"Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day."

"Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta? When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt."

"Kristen Stewart was raised by a pair of vacuum cleaners"

"The best 5 seconds of my life are when I wake up and have no idea I'm a human or have responsibilities."

"If I had a dollar for every gender created in 2016 I'd have one million dollars, unfortunately it would be in monopoly money because none of them are real."

"Where do football directors go when they are fed up ? The bored room !"

"Life is like a box of chocolate... ... it doesn't last very long for fat people."

"Now that I'm playing Pokemon Go I don't need a girlfriend anymore... The servers go down on me all the time."