115258

Joke of the Day

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."

"When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan."

"[robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going"

"Why are vaginas vertical and not horizontally aligned with the body ? They would smack while walking."

"Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs."

"Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... Now it looks like France landed there..."

"What do you call a sick Pokemon? Pikachoo"

"what did the handsome highschool boy wear to school? a whole lot of DAAAAAMN DANIEL"

"I was walking through the mall... I was walking through the mall, when I noticed this mannequin giving me a filthy look. I went over and decked the cunt and said ""Fucking poser"""

"You know how you can tell if an Irishman has had too much to drink He walks into a bar"