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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Borg ! Borg who ? Borg standard !"

"What do you call a pimp without a cane? A caneless pimp."

"Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct."

"Why did all the sea monsters refer to the kraken as a whore when he died? Because he died choking on a bunch of seamen."

"Mitch Hedberg used to do drugs"

"What did Syd Barrett leave in his mother's bathroom? A saucerful of secretions"

"Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?"

"Sometimes I picture my wedding and other times I take off one pant leg stare into nothing for 15 minutes then take off the other leg"

"Her: Oh no, I've lost my jacket.. Me: *appears from the shadows* (whispers) you left it at the restaurant *slinks back into the shadows*"

"How do you know when your BBQ is ready in Canada in April? The snow on top of it has melted."