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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I picture my wedding and other times I take off one pant leg stare into nothing for 15 minutes then take off the other leg"

"Is your business interested in reaching a larger and wider audience? Pm me for my ex wife's email address"

"Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent."

"If you get a boner at a funeral is it still called mourning wood?"

"Creed is Alter Bridge with a stapp infection."

"What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong? 500 Internal Server Error"

"Left the waitress a tip of $4.04. Now I'm concerned she won't be able to find it."

"How do you end an argument with a woman? Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over."

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? ""Hold onto your nuts boy, this ain't no ordinary blow job!"""

"Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head."