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Joke of the Day

"What did Syd Barrett leave in his mother's bathroom? A saucerful of secretions"

"why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover? His girlfriend had a yeast infection"

"What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged? Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on."

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... except when you're at a funeral."

"Sex is easy... Telling your dad he's pregnant isn't."

"Apparently just because I have the ""mind of a child"" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's ""illegal"" to carry a brain around."

"So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?"

"Eating noodles while studying for a test? That's so Ramen."

"Yo mama is so fat that... ...she should really be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem"

"Procrastinators be like; Sofa so good My attempt on pun"