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Joke of the Day

"My favourite anti joke."

"If you're class of 2020.... then you must have a vision for the future."

"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"

"I'm done congratulating people for having babies. Parents have been getting praise for having sex incorrectly for way too long."

"You need to carry women in your arms; they will climb on your back by themselves."

"My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist."

"Why do Congressmen make terrible cashiers? They're all too afraid of change."

"Did you hear the one they don't tell retards? NO? Oh well never mind then."

"Here in Canada, we leave everything unlocked so that burglars don't risk getting glass in their hand when they punch through our windows."

"6 pack abs on a guy are nice but it probably means that he won't get drunk & rob a convenient store of cheese curls w/me at 3am, so no."