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Joke of the Day

"Why is your shit tapered? So your asshole don't slam shut."

"Theodore Roosevelt had sage words for men needing dating advice. Speak softly and have a big dick."

"Over the years, my sexual fetishes have been getting more perverse But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I hit rock bottom"

"Why was the anomaly so poor? Because it didn't make any cents!"

"My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed ""I hate you!"" and she gently replied ""I know. It doesn't matter."""

"I'm not a huge fan homeopathy... ...but I guess it's okay in small amounts."

"BY COINCIDENCE By coincidence, the mom from Toy Story had adult toys named Woody and Buzz Lightyear"

"My girl told me that she has daddy issues... So i left for a pack of smokes and never came back."

"[shitty joke incoming] A man just woke up from brain surgery... Where he got a brain tumor removed. When the doctor asked if he was okay he said he felt light headed."

"#wordsofwisdom If it says, 'Do not try this at home' - go and visit a friend."