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Joke of the Day

"If you're class of 2020.... then you must have a vision for the future."

"[me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?"

"An Australian travels to Houston for business, and sees who he suspects to be a famous football player. So he decides to ask him.... You Watt, mate?"

"Why was the tree soooo happy? Because he didn't arbor any feelings!"

"My Friend once tried his hand at stand-up comedy My friend once tried his hand at stand-up comedy.It was so pathetic that everybody just laughed at his jokes."

"Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. ""Attempt 7 of 25""."

"""Bear with me for a minute."" - Russian guy providing an airtight alibi for his criminal bear friend."

"I'd tell you a joke about my penis. . . But it's too short & not many people get it."

"My local bar was having a fund raiser for dyslexia It was all you can drink for ages 12 and up"

"My doctor wanted a stool sample a urine sample and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear. Classic Rodney D"