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Joke of the Day

"What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? Decaf coffee"

"The worst part about blind dates is trying to find a restaurant with menus in braille."

"Mermaids who never get married eventually accumulate a bunch of catfish."

"Why did the grammar nazi request someone else's tombstone to be placed on his grave? He was a big fan of transferred epitaph."

"Why did the sand scream? Because the sea weed. ha."

"I was looking through the living room window at the tree I'd just planted and I thought to myself ""Why didn't I plant it out here in the garden?"""

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office... completely naked, but wrapped in plastic wrap. The psychiatrist looks him and down and says...I can clearly see your nuts."

"My son's soccer coach just said, ""You can't spell ""triumph"" without 'try,'"" and the look my son and I shared will bond us forever."

"Made a meal out of an old recipe book today. Just tasted like paper really ."

"It's hard to tweet and change the baby's diaper at the same time.nnI probably should have waited until I got to a red light."