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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a murder committed by a gay person? *homo*cide ;)"

"I wish you were on the football team because I'd love to see your backfield in motion."

"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die"

"I like my women like I like my plastic wrap. Clingy, easy to handle, and microwave and freezer tested."

"I'm sick of being the guy everyone comes to when they want the money I owe them."

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

"When you turn on a light and the bulb burns out it's because you suck and that bulb would rather kill itself than hang out with you."

"Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the ""banana phone""."

"Did you hear about the man with 5 penises? His pants fit him like a glove."

"A Tree walks into a bank... ...and says to the teller, ""I'd like to take out a loan."" The teller replies, ""You'll have to talk to our branch manager."""