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Joke of the Day

"When it comes to stalking, I'm right behind you."

"I'm on hold. My call is important to them."

"I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see."

"*brakes hard* *throws arm across passenger seat to protect pizza*"

"What's the capital of Greece? About 10."

"Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people."

"So I went to grad school and finished my doctorate... I got my doctorate in fighting games and completed a masters in traditional line dancing. My degree is called the Shoryucan-can"

"Why did the hipster burn his tounge? Because he ate his food before it was cool."

"US Soccer Joke What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup? Ghana-RIO!"

"What's the leading cause of violence in America? Volkswagen Beetles."