170738

Joke of the Day

"What do skaters, kidnappers, and hipsters all have in common? They all have white vans"

"My phone got married last week. The service was good despite the lousy reception."

"Why should I date you? Girl - Give me 1 good reason, why I should date you? Guy - I'll give you 69."

"We used to call a girl at work 'turtle.' When she's on her back she's fucked."

"If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound? Yes...but you've probably never heard it before."

"I don't know why I even bother having an iPhone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a landline."

"What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish! (works better when you're drunk)"

"A little wine does the body good, a lot of wine does the body better!"

"What's white and covers the road in the early morning? Employed people."

"What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men? IC"