198064

Joke of the Day

"It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones."

"Why are TV's attracted to people? Because we turn them on. /*Badumtss*/"

"What did the leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip."

"Smoke alarms are stupid -- like I'd ever forget to smoke."

"It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Armenia ! Armenia who ? Armenia every word I say !"

"[Oldie but goodie] The three stages of a married couple's sex life Tri weekly, try weekly and try weakly."

"What could you create with Starbucks caramel mocha chip frappuccino? The Audi logo and The Olympics logo."

"Whip cream bikinis are cool but please don't wear chicken gravy again. That's just wrong."

"two elephants and a drum kit fall of a cliff... badum-dum-tish"